Since I left my small college town in 2017, I’ve moved five times as I’ve begun my professional career. I accepted early on that relocating for opportunities in my younger years was the goal so I could end up closer to where I wanted to be (although I didn’t exactly know where that was). With that in mind, I knew that moving away from the people and life I knew would be scary, so I did my best to ask people for advice on relocating and learning a lot about the place I was going before I made my first move outside of college.
The first time I ever experienced a large move was for a post-graduation internship 1,000 miles away from home (Maryland) in Kansas City. Looking back, I’m proud of myself for how well I prepared for the relocation mentally to ensure that I felt excited during my time there since I knew it was going to be easy to become homesick. Because of that experience and the other moves I’ve made since then (and even coming back to Kansas City full-time now), I want to share my best advice for those who are considering a move or are in the midst of one.
- Make a bucket list.
It’s so important for you to know about the place you’re going to live, so do your research online and make a list of things that you want to do. Check out the spots to visit, big events to participate in (like festivals or parades) and the things to do. If you know someone from the area or who has been there often, ask them for their recommendations and then reach out to them during/after going there to build connections with them.
To ensure you actually complete what’s on the list (especially if you’re an introvert like me), schedule these activities once a week in your first few months there so you’re getting out and exploring the city rather than staying home and thinking about what life may be like somewhere else.
In the midst of your adventures, give yourself some time to explore off the beaten path and to stop into the restaurants, coffee shops, or stores that may not be very popular. You’ll often find the best places and people when you’re not looking for them.
When you create a list of places to visit or activities to do, you have things to look forward to and it gets you excited about the life you’re going to create, rather than thinking about what you may be missing in other parts of the world.
- Know yourself & what you need…then go find it.
Moving to a new place will not work out if you’re not getting what you need. You may need or really want a specific type of food or a place to participate in your favorite hobby. Figure out what is important to you to find in the city, and then go try different places to find what you like best.
For me, it’s really important that I spend time in nature and have safe, nice places to walk. I’ve looked up lots of parks and trails in each of the places I’ve lived and tried a few out to come back to one or two frequently that I really love. Without time outside and in nature, I would really struggle to feel at home or myself. I hope that you can find something that is the same for you.
- Join a group and show up.
One of the most important parts of life is doing it in relationship with other people. It’s crucial for you to find friends in a new place and it can feel overwhelming to do it. After my experiences in moving, I’ve learned that joining some sort of group – professional, faith-based, social, or topic-based – can be a gamechanger and will help you feel at home somewhere.
There are tons of ways to do this, especially with apps like Meetup…if you’re interested in a certain topic, like public speaking, there’s usually a group for that (i.e. Toastmasters). If you’re interested in professional development, there are groups of all ages that get together for developmental experiences often. If your faith is important to you, churches offer small groups focused on the community or a particular topic of study. The options really are endless.
But signing up for this experience is only one part. The harder part is that you have to show up, give it a chance, and come back multiple times. You don’t have to sign up for something for a lifetime, but it is important to get a little bit out of your comfort zone and show up a few times before making a decision if you decide if it’s not a good fit for you or not.
- It’s okay to be a tourist!
Doing tourist activities in a new place can feel silly and like you’re doing the opposite of fitting in (which is usually what we want when moving somewhere new). However, those experiences are usually some of the best to learn about history and context of an area. You don’t have to do these right away after moving somewhere, however, I’d encourage you to try one or two museums, tours, or experiences that feel “touristy” to see what the area and community is all about.
- Use your network.
There is power in our networks, and typically we don’t give our own network as much credit as it deserves. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve seen a friend post of social media asking for recommendations from their friends / followers on a place and it turning into something really amazing. Not only can social media be a great tool for us to find things to do or places to visit, we can also use our people connections to meet other folks in the area. We don’t always need to know someone where we’re moving to, but the odds are that we know someone who knows someone…maybe it’s someone who lives where we’re going to or maybe they know someone who used to live there and has connections in that area. The world is a small place – we just need to ask the questions to help us get to where we want to go.
I luckily have known someone every place I’ve moved to, but I never have known them well at the time of me moving to their area. It took me reaching out to the acquaintance to see if we could meet up, having a conversation about their recommendations / thoughts on the area, and seeing if they wanted to connect again (or what that would look like in the future). This is where some I have built some meaningful friendships and also learned that not everyone is going to be my best friend. It’s okay to just have a meal or meet up with someone to learn about them and the area without it turning into a deep friendship. That’s part of putting yourself out there and embracing all that the move has in store.
- Keep your door open (figuratively).
I spent a lot of my college career helping new students feel at home at our university and town. One of the top pieces of advice I ever received and gave was to keep your residence hall door open the first few weeks of college so that you can meet as many people as possible. It sounds cheesy, but this advice is gold. Without literally putting yourself out there and showing others you’re willing to make an effort to get to know them, you won’t meet or build relationships with anyone.
The same advice applies to people making a move to a new place. You need to be ready at any time for a potential conversation to spark or a relationship to bloom. This means you need to be aware of your body language and seem open to talking with strangers…whether you’re ordering coffee, checking out at a store, or walking down the (safe) street (if it’s a sketchy street…I support a more smug face). This also means being willing to take a chance and meet up with people who you don’t know very well. You never know where a connection can lead you.
- Take the long way home.
When I’m not in a rush, I love to take the long way home. What I mean is that I don’t always follow my GPS directions precisely if I have some extra time – I take a few “wrong turns” and see where I end up and if I know where I am. I do this so that I can learn the roads and the area better. This is how I’ve actually come to understand the area around me and I’ve gained a lot more confidence in living here.
I’ve loved finding some farmland close to me and driving home the scenic route during the sunset as a relaxing way to end my day once in a while. I do recommend having a GPS accessible in case you get lost (been there), but you’ll learn a lot by not taking the straightest or easiest way home.
- Serve.
One of the coolest ways to learn about a new area is by serving those in need in the community. This can look very different depending on what your interests are and what the community is, but this is a great way to learn about the town and to get to know other people. Sometimes a company or organization will integrate this into your work / job, but I encourage you to explore opportunities outside of this as well. If you want to get to know the community better, it might be helpful to look at specific local organizations, rather than just national organizations based or with a location in your area.
Serving in Kansas City from my early days here has been one of the most impactful parts of my time in the area. I feel like I’ve met some of my favorite people from doing this and I’ve felt most fulfilled from my serving experiences. Because of how much you learn about the area and the community, serving and giving back is is a surefire way to help you genuinely feel like you belong in a new place.
- Keep in touch.
Moving to a new place doesn’t mean you need to give up everything and everyone from your life prior to the move. It means you need to prioritize the most important people in your life and bring them along on the journey with you. No, they don’t need to literally come with you, however, you should update them about how you’re acclimating, what you’re enjoying, what you’re struggling with, and what you’d like to do. Even if you don’t know people super well in the area you’re moving to, it’s critical to keep in touch with the people who know you best and you can be honest with. Although you’ll learn quickly that you can’t stay in touch with everyone all the time, when you prioritize a few relationships and pour into those often, you will have your cup filled even as you start from scratch in a new place with other relationships. Plus, inviting your friends and family to come visit to explore the city / town / area with you can be lots of fun and a good excuse to try something you haven’t yet.
Moving often in my young adult life has come with its challenges, but it has been one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I have learned more about myself and what’s important to me than I ever could’ve done by staying in one place. Although it has come with a lot of lessons and humility checks, I am more confident in who I am, being alone, and and what I’m capable of because of taking the risk and moving to new places. I look forward to even more life-giving relationships and memories in these places & beyond in the future!
elizabeth galbreath 